Are you wasting your energy?

I like to know people. And I don't mean know about people, but really know them. 

Maybe it's part of the reason I have trouble with idle chit chat and I steered clear of cliques of gossipy teenage girls growing up. Perhaps it's part of the reason I gravitated toward coaching in the midst of my otherwise lonely health journey several years ago.

But I think there's a bit more to it. Maybe you can relate.

As I reflect on my relationships over the past decade I can see clearly where and why certain friendships have faded into the past and others have flourished. 

If I am unable to meet you somewhere inside the large outer containers of your Russian nesting doll the you beneath the facade of your hollow identities - then I've learned that I have to let go of the subconscious expenditure of energy I lose in fighting to find you deep inside there. 

If you can't be vulnerable around me as I am with you then our souls aren't meant to cross right now. And that's okay. We're all making our way through life along our own paths. Maybe ours will meet again down the road. Maybe not. 


Martha Beck describes this shift in your world as you begin doing your own healing work the "empty elevator syndrome." You embark on your hero's journey and begin to break free from childhood patterns and ego-driven choices. In doing so, it's like to stepping into an elevator headed to the penthouse and watching people get off on various floors along the way. You may feel along in that rising elevator, but when the door opens to your floor, you find exactly who you're meant to know. 

Are you fighting to hold onto friendships or relationships that are no longer nourishing you? Could you consider gently letting them go to restore some much-needed energy and to open the door to new friendships?

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